Juji's Blog

What is it with dudes dressing up as big turds? Has their self-respect gone down the toilet? Mr Floatie (see below) is a community activist who dresses up in a poo costume to protest the pumping of raw sewerage into the waters off Victoria in British Columbia. Worthy cause, I agree, but what I want to know is whether you'd date him and, if so, what you'd tell your parents he does for a living?

People are weeeird, but this character raises quite a few unanswered questions:

Firstly, does he pull your chain?

He obviously likes chicken nuggets, but what exactly does poo-man poo?

Is the stool flexible enough to sit on a stool?

Does everyone evacuate the pool when Mr Floatie's taking a leisurely float?

How come he looks so happy? If I looked like that, I'd be flushing myself headfirst.

Do you reckon the dumb-ass look on his face means he's got shit for brains?

Is the guy in the picture happy about Mr Floatie cuddling him, or is he about to crap himself?

Mr Floatie obviously likes a bit of a surf - gives the term surf 'n' turd (whoops! surf 'n' turf) a whole new meaning... "Er, I just ate, but thanks anyway."

Would you date a walking hamburger, hotdog or sandwich? Where would you draw the line?

How much does a person's job impact on your decision to date/fuck/marry them?

Would you date/fuck/marry a Wiggle, an executioner or a chicken sexer?

Have you dated people with weirdo jobs? My ex's have had pretty straight jobs like chefs, computer programmers, and teachers - nothing to write home about. The chefs did have a particular kitchen-stink about them, but nothing compared to what I imagine Mr Floatie might emanate in the bedroom after a big day out bobbin' around shit.

While it may do something' for Jed, personally, I'd rather eat my own head.

Juji x