Kreepy Ken or Boogie Boarding Blaine?
Hey All, I read an article last week that made me want to slap Barbie twice around her air-filled head. The plastic princess is thinking about dumping bronzed toy boy, Blaine (see pix below) - a muscly, super hot, Aussie boogie boarder, for her old flame, commitment-phobic Ken. I reckon if you've been hanging around a dude in toy town for 43 years, and he still hasn't pronounced his undying love, albeit in doll speak, it's time to fling him outta the toy box for good.
Rumour has it Ken's aiming to win her over with some great new makeover that'll have her creaming her hotpants at the mere sight of him. Well, it'd have to be a complete bloody overhaul if you ask me.
Ken's schizophrenic personality changes over the years make my skin crawl. His '70s Elvis look is so smooth and smarmy, it makes me want to chew my own arm off or reach for an almighty sharp pair of shears. The '80s look is too clean cut, and I reckon he'd be boring as batshit in bed. I could never have a serious relationship with '90s Ken, 'cos I wouldn't be able to stop laughing long enough 'cos he looks like a friggin' clown and, as for millennium Ken, he's a meterosexual gone mad. I couldn't date a guy that spends more time and money on nurturing himself than me. Besides, he'd show me up. Millennium Ken needs a good dollop of manhood tossed in - he's far too pretty and I reckon my gay friends'd have him served up on a silver platter for breakfast, lunch and tea - and there wouldn't be much left of him, I can tell you.
What do you think Ken's new look should be? If you had him in your hot little paws and could do anything you liked to him, what would it be? I reckon he needs all the help he can get. And what about Barbie? Do you think she should take him back? And what would he have to do first?
I, being a die hard, beach-going Aussie chick who's well and truly over commitment phobes, lean towards Blaine, his blonde locks and hot bod - even if he is a tad shiny. What do you think?
(Scroll down for comments - yeah, I'm technologically chanllenged!) x
