Wow, was it ever a rough weekend. Let's see, Friday's events (which I won't bother explaining) upset me greatly, so naturally I drank my troubles away. Yes, I downed eleven shots of vodka which resulted in me crouching over a toilet, vomitting, dropping my cell phone into the vomit, then passing out cold on Cape's couch. Now when I say passing out cold, I don't mean I just fell asleep drunk. I mean I was completely UNCONSCIOUS. If this isn't turning you on enough, let me add this small detail: in my state of unconsciousness, I peed the couch. Yes, I peed all over Cape's $1,800 couch. My car isn't even worth $1,800.
I went over with cleaning supplies to help him out. Scrubbing those cushions with him was probably one of the most awkward experiences of my life. He was completely silent, and I was trying not to burst into tears. You see, with any other friend I would've laughed it off, but with Cape everything's different. Probably because he's my quasi-boyfriend.
For those of you scratching your heads at the word 'quasi', let me help you out.
quasi
adj : To some degree; in some manner; having some resemblance; "a quasi success"; "a quasi contract"; "Jennifer peed on the couch of her quasi boyfriend."
synonyms: almost, near, partly, would-be
Basically he acts just like a boyfriend would, but for whatever reason he refuses to actually be in an official relationship. Maybe he wants to sleep with other girls. Maybe I frighten him. Honestly, I don't know/want to know. But let's just say pissing on his expensive couch probably didn't help anything.
He'll come around. He told me he can't stay mad at his pet. I found it kindof creepy that he called me his pet, but then he pointed out that I often bite him and, after all, I did just pee his couch.
