Morning hit me like an 18-wheeler plowing into an armadillo: it arrived without warning and just about killed me.
Sunlight blinded my eyes, beaming through the gaps in the curtains of the window of...
my God, where the hell was I?
I turned away from the sunlight and spotted a cup on the floor with a Motel 8 logo. I'm in Motel 8... how trashy, I thought.
I then noticed something tightly wrapped around me, encircling my waist and arms. It was a person. It was some shaggy haired guy-- no-- MAN, snoring loudly with an itsy tattoo of a Celtic cross on his chest. A tattoo?! I hate tattoos.
Suddenly last night came flooding back to me-- the conversation about tattoos (and how I hate them), his warm hand on my neck. I sigh in relief: I only kissed him.
Thank God I only kissed him.
I remember what happened: after the SAE (Sigma Alpha Epsilon) Vegas party I had ended up talking to the band. The reason why I insisted on talking to the scruffy band and not the hundreds of rich, available frat boys still escapes me. But that's what happened, I started flirting with the band. I remembered Lux in her rhinestone bra dancing on the stage with the lead singer. I remembered the guitarist calling me cute and coy and making me blush like the goddamned schoolgirl that I am.
We wound up smoking a bowl in his hotel room. He wanted to cuddle with me. I'm sure by 'cuddle with me' he meant screw my brains out, but I took his meaning quite literally and stayed fully clothed. I wasn't very interested. (It seems I'm not very interested in anyone these days.)
Okay okay, I stayed fully clothed although at some point my sequins dress' straps snapped. This could have happened as a result of completely unrelated events, I really don't know. I know that I just cuddled with Darren, the guitarist. Darren from New York, Queens, specifically. God his accent was horrible.
He quoted me his kitschy song lyrics and made wish I'd stayed in for the night. Seriously, he wouldn't shut up... so I kissed him. If you want to shut a guy up just start kissing him.
He said I'm the best kisser he'd ever had. If true, this would mean a lot since he's a musician a helluva a lot older than me (but anything over 22 seems old to me). I doubted his sincerity, as drunk guys will tell you all kinds of pretty things and none of it holds meaning to me anymore.
He told me he could fall in love with me. I laughed. He said he'd never met a girl as smart as me, as intriguing and adorable. I sighed.
Back to the morning-- the 18-wheeler of a morning and the blinding sunlight. I pried his limbs off of me and stumbled to the bathroom in my dress, leaving a trail of sequins behind.
Just then the bassist burst through the door, Kramer from Seinfeld style, and jumped about two feet upon spotting me. He dashed to the bed I'd just climbed out of, grabbed Darren by the shoulders, and dragged him outside.
Yelling ensued. I couldn't make out there words exactly, but gathered that Darren was engaged to the bassist's sister. He'd never kissed anyone else since meeting her... until me. I heard Darren shouting that he didn't sleep with me, that he only had kissed me.
Darren came back into the hotel room looking broken. I could tell he wanted to cry. I left shortly thereafter, wishing I had a photo to remember the bizarre night. Their forty-something bouncer drove me home in their van.
I didn't feel angry or guilty about Darren. I didn't know what to feel except sad for him. It wasn't me who wanted to marry him. Besides, this was not the first time (nor will it probably be the last time) I've been someone's mistake.
I laughed and shook my head at myself as I climbed the stairs to my apartment barefoot (where were my heels?) and holding up the straps of my dress with my hands. I'm spiralling out of control and loving every second. I passed one of my gel-head neighbors in the hallway. He stared at me and was about to say something, but then decided against it and went on his way.
I put on some Zeppelin and started to undress. A guitar pick fell out of my bra. I tucked it away in a plastic sleeve of a photo album, scribbling "Darren" underneath it.
