J Patt Fails and Resigns to Life of Pancakes
I won't get into why, but last week and this weekend were just one terrible Sex And The City episode for the ladies who call themselves Triple Trouble (me, Lux, + Marie). Actually it's more like No Sex And The city, because seriously none of us have had sex in five days, and we're pretty fucking pissed.
This disaster of a weekend ultimately culminated with me eating pancakes all Sunday and refusing to go outside.
Triple Trouble and the pseudo-boyfriend Dirk partied hard. (Not my pseudo-boyfriend, mind you, as I'm the perpetually single one because the only guys who want to date me are the kind that collect knives and have entire corners fo their rooms dedicated to the Civil War, more on the people that want to date me later.)
We were sipping on everclear, as usual, and I didn't get who I wanted, as usual. He wails on guitar and has soft brown eyes that hide behind wavy hair. When he spaeks it sounds like he's telling you his secrets, even when he's just saying something tpical, like talking about what drugs he is on. He's terribly hard to get a hold of, as he sleeps all day and at night usually gets too fucked up to answer his phone. Anyway, I cornered him at a parentless Parents' Weekend party and began a "let's-hook-up" conversation. (I'm not kidding. I'm very direct about these things.)
He didn't seem to be listening, then he collasped on the floor. Not sure what to do, I shrugged and just kindof walked away and pretened to asnwer my phone. He later passed out on a couch, tripping pretty hard on acid. Somehow I felt like the situation had hope. (What? I'd been drinking everclear.) I tackled him and demanded that the stop tripping and come make out with me. I guess I figured that if I yelled enough the acid would work its way out of his system faster.
This did not work.
Naturally, the yelling escalated into an all-out tantrum and apparently I threatened to (and I quote) "beat the shit" out of him. I love drunk me and my empty threats. I've never hit anyone in my life. (Except Lux but she deserved it.) I stormed out of the party without him. The rest of the night is another story altogether, one involving crying, three republicans, and a tall stack of pancaked in a to-go box.
