BEING AFRAID
There are 2 sides to being single, the good and the bad. It's Saturday night and I could either call up my friends and go party or I could just chill at home, finish some unfinished projects and watch a movie...either ways theres noone to tell you one way or the other. I like that aspect of being single - you just pick up and do it whereas if you were dating you'd give the all so familiar call on the phone to that someone special letting them know that you were going out. On the flip side, it'll be nice to have someone to cuddle up and watch a movie with, someone to laugh at when they tear up at the end of the Jet Le movie instead of you taking in that deep sigh and then looking around.
Also I like cooking - I am a really good cook and I dont mean macaroni casserole whatever the hell that is, I'm talking about an array of mediteranian, polynesian, asian and American food. It'll be nice to cook to impress one than throwing a party for like 15 like my last cooking expedition.
Well tonight Ill stay in. I'm miles away from home and having an unbelievable time but I am realizing that I need time for myself. I need to figure me out, find out what I'm about. I have been devoid of inspiration half way through a novel and a collection of poetry. I'm uninspired because... I don't know where I stand with me anymore. Men can do that to you, not intentionally but I guess half the time you do it to yourself.
Well, the beach is beautiful.. There is a million stars and every so often one would crash and disintegrate before it hits the earth. The ocean is partially invisible, except for the white foam capping the waves. I love the ocean and I fear it. I find the things that I love are usually the things that I fear. Maybe I need to quit being so afraid. What are you afraid of?
